Day One...

Ok, so deep breath, and...where do I start? I've known that I've been drinking far too much alcohol for several years now. Despite knowing the harm that it can do - the harm that it has done to my body, I continue. Despite my drinking upsetting my wife, I continue. Despite my behaviour (sometimes) being out of control and frankly embarassing, I continue. Well, now I am making an attempt to stop. Note here my reluctance to say this it is. I have stopped. This is becasue I know it won't be easy. One day at a time is the old adage, and let's see how it goes. But am I cheating myself? Will I stop without the bold claim that 'this is it' ? Am I leaving a chink in the door that will enable me to carry on and to have an excuse? I'm not really sure, but this is day one, and I may return with different views another day.

So what has prompted this? Well, on Saturday evening I drank a lot. A lot, and my behaviour towards a certain individual was bad. Very bad. This person was upset and I was (am) feeling very guilty about this. And also worried in case my wife finds out. There's a bit of turmoil going on in my head about it all and I'm looking for something positive to come out of the situation. So, this is it. This is the something positive, and I need to capture the moment before it all fades into the distance and it all happens again. So, as I said, deep breath and into a new era. Whether I will be successful is another matter. But I will try. 

Horatio